Obscure Problems and Gotchas

It’s a genuine pet peeve of mine to hear the phrase, “Make time!”

As in:

• Them: “Hey why haven’t you called me in a while?”
• Me: “Yep, been busy, sorry.”
• Them: “You just need to make the time.”
• Me:😒

My whole life, I have been busy. I have absolutely no idea how other people that I have encountered in my whole life up until now aren’t busy. Like the idea of having free time is a foreign concept to me. The fact that I am writing this article right now is me SACRIFICING or BORROWING time from other things I should be doing, to instead take a load off and write an article. Again, I have no clue how those same people just have oodles of free, unoccupied time.

The thing that really rubs me the wrong way is when people get upset with me for not talking to them for a while. I have noticed as I get older there are literally two classes of people:

• Friends you can see whenever and pick up where you left off without guilt trips.
• Friends who are pretty close to ending your friendship with them because they can’t seem to not give you a guilt trip when you finally do see each other.

It really gets under my skin. As an adult, who has a fulltime job and other things going on in his life, I am not sure why anyone else thinks I would owe them an explanation or expectation that I will “make time” for them. You are LUCKY, if I can find the time to begin with. Keep that in mind the next time you, or someone you know, wants to razz a friend for being absent.

Euphemism

The mere concept of “making time”, is literally impossible. You cannot fit more hours into the day. Believe me, if this could be done our corporate overlords would have done it already and somehow found a way to pay us less than they do already. Really it’s a euphemism for saying, “Reprioritize your life to accommodate what I want you to do.”, which – when you say it this way sounds more insulting. I find it arrogant and rude. Also, because I am petty, I will more than likely see you less as a result.

Modern day conveniences

I do not long for the days where there was no internet, I’m not one of those. However, there are things that have come with modern day technology that have made dealing with people even more annoying than it was already. When I was a kid, if I saw my relatives it was a big affair. This is because they got on a plane and visited the United States from another country. It was always a pleasure to spend time with them.

When my family moved from California to Florida (do not recommend), I would write letters to my friends because there was no such thing as email and long distance phone calls were expensive (MCI anyone?).

The moment video calls and cell phones became readily available, all of a sudden there was this expectation that you were available at all times of the day to speak to extended family and people who live across the country. By all means, if you want to spend hours of your day speaking to people who are not in your immediate living area, that’s up to you. I for one do not want to do this. I hate being stuck on the phone because it means I cannot do what I want to do. Don’t get me wrong I love talking, but wow, not when I have work to be doing.

Unanticipatedly, I was assigned the expectation that I would be checking in with extended family because I could? My problem with this, is if I don’t have anything to say to you, then why are we talking? I’m not saying that to be mean, I’m serious. The constant, “Hey, how are you doing? I’m doing good, how about you? Good. Cool… Alright until next time.” feels absolutely pointless to me. However, people get all up in their feels and take offense if this is not done.

Overwhelming numbers of relationships

Apparently you can only have like 150 meaningful relationships, which I think is hilarious because I think my number is like 10. I have done the mental math involved and if you were to try to call every single person you know at least once a month, you would be burning an unrealistic number of hours. So in other words, I am not going to prioritize other people’s delicate feelings about this matter over my own mental health. If you got something to say, call. If not, cool, see you when I see you. If that’s a problem for you, then I am sorry to hear that you are having that problem.

The reality is there are not enough hours in the day and you can’t make time either so stop saying that, seriously it’s obnoxious. The way I have been handling it, is I have a small circle of people I try to keep up with and that’s it. It’s nothing personal, I just cannot capacity plan for too many people and live the hectic life I am living. Getting unsolicited advice from people who do not share my career path are not welcome. Please do not share, I’m asking nicely. Unless you understand my career and you actively work in it, I don’t need your advice. You don’t get it and I don’t want to hear it.

Time table

Here is everyone’s ideal time table for the most part:

So for some asshole to come by and say, “Hey, give me some of your 8 hours.” – wow you got some big ol’ basket balls. Check yourself. Seriously.

Weekends

• There are 52 weeks in an accounting year.
• There are 7 days in a week, 5 of which are given up to work and exhaustion. That means you got 2 days left to take care of everything else.
• This means you have 104 days a year, if you are lucky, where you can somehow do projects, to-do items and maybe relax.

My point is, when someone wants to take one of my 104 days, I get pretty annoyed.

Therefore, if someone gives you some of their time, appreciate it. Don’t be an asshole and ask for more👍as they have just give you a limited resource that they cannot make more of.

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